Trust and Trepanning


Read After Burnout

images-47I have been saying my prayers religiously and indifferently for fifty out of my fifty-five years. It has become a sort of mantra with the words and sentiments having suffused into each other a long time ago.

The Lord’s Prayer features prominently as do prayers for the persecuted and those who are suffering. It’s another aspect of my Jesus complex, but one that I almost halted due to my recent loss of faith in anything remotely meaningful and potentially disappointing. I say my prayers now and feel a little more assured that they are going somewhere.

I ought to pray for the mad woman.

Her visage appeared at my door this morning and I had to turn swiftly to avoid having her gaze fall upon me. There is something terribly menacing about the madness which possesses her and it puts me on edge. I want to scream the demons out…

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This is the story of what happened to me when anxiety took a grip. I lost my senses, I lost my job, and I lost me. I then turned to writing to find those things that had gone missing. How can you teach when you believe that education is a business that is failing in its primary remit of helping to create a better society? Indeed, how can you teach when you believe that you have nothing of value to pass on? The book/blog is the story of my recovery from the absolute darkness of the early days. It is an Odyssey through my life over the last twelve months and a retracing of my steps to discover how I found myself there. More than all of that, it is a re-evaluation and a rejoicing of all that which I call life. Happy reading and I hope it helps. There is madness, Everyday Madness, and not all of it comes from within.

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