I don’t think that I am any longer mad.
That’s not certain, but it is a temporary affirmation brought about through the writing of this thing. I was forced into changing hotel accommodation yesterday which did bring back a shiver of anxiety. My stomach convulsed, I did not eat and I certainly did not sleep. That was a reminder that things are only as good as the situation allows. Nevertheless, it passed without incident.
Certain words can define one’s life or the stages of that life.
“If things were a little more certain…”
This was in a text from my wife. She needs structure and certainty whereas I am not so in need of it.
At the moment, I am living for the moment, knowing that that may change. I am caught up in the instant and moving wherever that seems to be taking me. At the moment, I am here. And here seems much more certain than the certainty that structure creates. When I am asked about my plans for the weekend or plans for the future, I shrug my shoulders and say something like, “We’ll see what happens.” And that is now the truth. This is my truth. I am not planning for the future and I refute that not planning is planning to fail. We have Benjamin Franklin, the…
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