£50,000 …If you can get back to sleep…


Sleep deprivation and the Beast From The East. 

A veritable winterwonderland.

Whilst awaiting the arrival of Ivan The Very Full storm of snow, we lay awake. Most of the population seems to be awake at many points when they really ought to be sleeping. Researchers are baffled by this, so much so that they are seeking funds in order to organise proper, government-back evaluations of the issue.

We can’t wait for their findings. Last night we just relied upon old favourites to help us back into slumberland. Each awake at different times, we counted sheep. My wife had been told to go for a walk; a type of walk in her head. She couldn’t do this as she couldn’t decided where to walk. I have tried running in my sleep, but find that my adrenaline starts to kick in and I am wide awake.

The sheep had been taken down from the high pasture for the arrival of Ivan, so we couldn’t count them as they were in the farmer’s barn. There are numerous ways of lulling oneself back to sleep, but in trying them one finds that there is concentration required and concentration keeps you awake.

I kept counting from 1 to 20 until about half past three. My wife, unbeknown to me, tried a new tactic. As she was trying this, I was trying out a new nightmare which was probably school-based. Her technique was to convince herself that she would win £50,000 if she finally reached her goal. She was almost there; within touching distance…


And then I screamed out and spoke Parcel-Tongue

4 thoughts on “£50,000 …If you can get back to sleep…

Add yours

  1. Oh shit, typical!!!

    I HATE not being able to sleep – I really sympathise. I go down and watch a bad French film with subtitles wrapped in a fleece because the woodburner contains only warm ash.. usually within an hour or two I am eager to go back 👌🏼


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