Life According To Tapas…

If you are not born and stick with any religion or political belief, life can be like a tapas bar with lots of tempting choices.

Okay, I accept that it is probably the case more so for religion than for politics. For politics the choice seems less: Far Right (bastard); Middle (decent if undecided); Far Left (bastard). With religion, it’s difficult to work out who the decent ones are and which of the secret ones are secretively bastards.  

“Life is like a box of chocolates.”

“Yes, Forest, we get it. Life is like a box of teeth-rotting, obesity-enhancing, diabetes-inducing collection of titbits. The more you eat, the more you want, the more you want, the more you eat.”

“What’s your favourite, Forest?”

“The one in which Goldilocks gets almost eaten by the wolf.”

And now for the game: Which food am I?

The object of this exercise is to match the person to the food. For some people, this may mean that they match the person to the food which they think they would have most liked. The reasoning behind this is that we are, or we become, what we eat.

Popular history has it that Hitler was a vegetarian. This is always dredged up as a grim irony, that such a murderous person should eschew animal products, but I think the grim ironists are wrong: partly because there is nothing about enjoying the odd pork chop that predisposes a person to acts of genocide, but mainly because it is not quite accurate. Here is a partial list of the dictator’s favourite foods: squab, liver dumplings, caviar and succulent trout in butter sauce. So you see, not only was he not a vegetarian, he didn’t even like vegetables.

It’s shame that Hitler ever ate at all.

Match the two lists as best as you can. No prizes will be given. It’s the taking part that matters.

  1. Abraham Lincoln (1809 – 1865) US President during American civil war
  2. Mother Teresa (1910 – 1997) Macedonian Catholic missionary nun
  3. Winston Churchill (1874 – 1965) British Prime Minister during WWII
  4. Donald Trump (1946 – ) Businessman, politician
  5. Bill Gates (1955 – ) American businessman, founder of Microsoft
  6. Muhammad Ali (1942 – 2016) American Boxer and civil rights campaigner
  7. Mahatma Gandhi (1869 – 1948) Leader of Indian independence movement
  8. Margaret Thatcher (1925 – 2013) British Prime Minister 1979 – 1990
  9. Albert Einstein (1879 – 1955) German scientist, theory of relativity
  10. Leonardo da Vinci (1452 – 1519) Italian, painter, scientist, polymath
  11. Vincent Van Gogh (1853 – 1890) Dutch artist
  12. George Orwell (1903 – 1950) British author
  13. Desmond Tutu (1931 – ) South African Bishop and opponent of apartheid
  14. Dalai Lama (1938 – ) Spiritual and political leader of Tibetans
  15. Walt Disney (1901 – 1966) American film producer
  16. John Lennon (1940 – 1980) British musician, member of the Beatles
  17. Joseph Stalin (1879 – 1953) Leader of Soviet Union 1924 – 1953
  18. Plato (423 BC – 348 BC) Greek philosopher
  19. Adolf Hitler (1889 – 1945) leader of Nazi Germany 1933 – 1945
  20. Steve Jobs (1955 – 2012) co-founder of Apple computers


Name Image Description
Aceitunas Aceitunas.jpg Olives, sometimes with a filling of anchovies or red bell pepper
Albóndigas Albondigas La Nacional.jpg Meatballs with sauce
All i oli Catalan allioli.jpg Garlic and oil” is a sauce, the classic ingredients of which are garlic, oil and salt, but the most common form of it includes mayonnaise and garlic, served on bread or with boiled or grilled potatoes, fish, meat or vegetables.
Bacalao Bacalao Rebozado - Madrid.jpg Salted cod loin sliced very thinly, usually served with bread and tomatoes
Banderillas Banderillas de encurtidos.jpg Also called pinchos de encurtidos, are cold tapas made from small food items pickled in vinegar and skewered together. They are also known as gildas or piparras and consist of pickled items, like olives, baby onions, baby cucumbers, chiles (guindilla) with pieces of pepper and other vegetables. Sometimes they include an anchovy.[1]
Boquerones Boquerones en vinagre.jpg White anchovies served in vinegar (boquerones en vinagre) or deep fried
Calamares Calamares tapas.jpg Also known as rabas, these are rings of battered squid
Carcamusa CARCAMUSAS.JPG Beef stew, usually with potatoes, vegetables and chilli sauce
Chopitos Chopitos (limón) - 89.jpg Battered and fried tiny squid, also known as puntillitas
Chorizo a la sidra Chorizo a la sidra.jpg Chorizo sausage slowly cooked in cider [4]
Chorizo al vino Chorizo sausage slowly cooked in wine
Cojonuda A small toast with Spanish morcilla topped with a fried quail egg, and sometimes served with a little strip of red, spicy pepper. It is very common in Burgos, as morcilla de Burgos contains rice, which is popular across Spain.[2] Witticism: Coja can be lewd woman or an understanding (as cojón means testicle), but see also Cojonudo below
Cojonudo As for cojonuda above but made with chorizo or ham often with garlic topped with a fried quail egg [3] Witticism: Cojo Nudo could mean I take a lump or could imply a naked cripple -see also Cojonuda above
Croquetas Croquettes with salad.jpg A common sight in bar counters and homes across Spain, served as a tapa,[5] a light lunch, or a dinner along with a salad
Empanadillas Empanadillas (Casa Ciriaco).jpg Large or small turnovers filled with meats and vegetables[6]
Ensaladilla rusa Ensaladilla rusa tapas.jpg Literally, “(little) Russian salad”, this dish is made with mixed boiled vegetables with tuna, olives and mayonnaise
Fried cheese A tapas dish in Spain[7]
Gambas Gambas rojas.jpg Prawns sauteed in salsa negra (peppercorn sauce), al ajillo (with garlic), or pil-pil (with chopped chili peppers)
Mejillones rellenos Stuffed mussels, called tigres (“tigers”) in Navarre because of the spicy taste
Papas arrugadas Papasarrugadas.jpg Also known as papas con mojo (see Canarian wrinkly potatoes) (Canary Islands), this dish consists of very small, new potatoes boiled in salt water similar to sea water, then drained, slightly roasted and served with mojo sauce, a garlic, Spanish paprika, red pepper, cumin seed, olive oil, wine vinegar, salt and bread miga (fresh bread crumbs without the crust) to thicken it.
Patatas a lo Pobre Potato Salad with fresh vegetables.JPG Poor-man’s (boiled) potato slices with a light creamy sauce, usually served cold. There are several variations including patatas allioli with garlic and patatas pimientos with pimientos [8]
Patatas bravas Patatas Bravas - Terraza.JPG Also known as papas bravas: fried potato dice (sometimes parboiled and then fried, or simply boiled) served with salsa brava a spicy tomato sauce, sometimes served also with mayo or aioli
Pimientos de Padrón Pimientos de padron amb sal maldon.jpg Small green peppers originally from Padrón (a municipality in the province of A Coruña, Galicia) that are fried in olive oil or served raw, most are mild, but a few in each batch are quite spicy.
Pincho moruno Pincho moruno-Valladolid-cropped.jpg Literally “Moorish spike”, a kebab with spicy meat, made of pork, lamb or chicken
Pulpo a la gallega Polbo a feira.jpg Galician-style octopus or polbo á feira (octopus in the trade fair style) in Galicia, is cooked in boiling water (preferably in a copper cauldron or pan) and served hot in olive oil. The octopus pieces are seasoned with substantial amounts of paprika, giving it its recognisable red color, and sea salt for texture and flavour.
Puntillitas Puntillitas.jpg (Andalusia) or chopitos (central Spain), this dish is battered and fried tiny squid
Queso con anchoas Castilla or Manchego cured cheese with anchovies on top
Raxo Pork seasoned with garlic and parsley, with added paprika, called zorza
Setas al Ajillo Setas al ajillo-Madrid.jpg Fresh mushrooms usually champigons which are sauteed with olive oil and garlic.[9]
Solomillo a la castellana Small fried pork or beef medallions served with an onion or Cabrales cheese sauce
Solomillo al whisky Solomillo al whisky.JPG Small pork or beef medallions marinated in whiskey, brandy or white wine and fried in olive oil
Tapas mexicanas Tapas mexicanas.jpg A Tapas containing all kind of snacks
Tortilla de patatas Pila de Tortillas de Patatas.jpg A Spanish omelette or tortilla española, a substantial omelette (typically 1 – 2 cm x 10 – 20 cm diameter) containing substantial chunks of potatoes bound with egg, sometimes flavored with onions. Tortillas as tapas are usually just a small wedge or pincho which may be served hot or cold, often with bread (occasionally also with aioli or mayonaise)
Tortilla paisana Paisana-2011.JPG A tortilla containing vegetables and chorizo (similar to frittata)
Tortillitas de camarones La Jamonería - Tortillitas.jpg Battered prawn fritters.
Zamburiñas Zamburriñas-2010.jpg Renowned Galician scallops (Chlamys varia), often served in a marinera, tomato-based sauce
Zarajo Zarajos.jpg Traditional offal wound on a stick

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