A 49er…


The dream has still not returned. Could it be that it was just a tease? Some cosmic come-on to make me believe that there is something out there that is interested in me?

I have had these dreams before and they have always intimated that there would be a path to success if only I could follow the clues. There was always some easily-confusing thing that would be there to test me.

Last night, I committed myself to remembering. I swore to myself that I would not lose the secret. That I would remember every simple note of its message. But this morning, it fled like so many idle fantasies from the midnight hours.

Was I bereft?


I was mildly disappointed in the way that a continually optimistic gold-panner would be. Not today. Not now.

Perhaps tomorrow.


Or the day after that.

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This is the story of what happened to me when anxiety took a grip. I lost my senses, I lost my job, and I lost me. I then turned to writing to find those things that had gone missing. How can you teach when you believe that education is a business that is failing in its primary remit of helping to create a better society? Indeed, how can you teach when you believe that you have nothing of value to pass on? The book/blog is the story of my recovery from the absolute darkness of the early days. It is an Odyssey through my life over the last twelve months and a retracing of my steps to discover how I found myself there. More than all of that, it is a re-evaluation and a rejoicing of all that which I call life. Happy reading and I hope it helps. There is madness, Everyday Madness, and not all of it comes from within.

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