On Never Looking Back…

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The dreams have been at it again. So clear during the darkness, but not there when the dawn calls.

Unlike Lot, but like his wife, I have done an awful lot of looking back. My particular cities of Ego and Career were also destroyed by some force outside of my control. However, after leaving them to the destruction of the desert, I turned around and viewed the once grand citadels stone by stone, street by street, and house by house.

What we build is not always what we have envisaged. My cities were built on half-remembered dreams because I had no concept of the reality that I could have possibly created. So when whatever was sent against them found easy pickings, gaping fissures through which to drive an old testament-tank, the walls of my twin edifices not only fell, but they wept with the release of surrender.

No longer would they have to be held together by spit and hope. 

This morning finds me looking back.

I am not searching for my nocturnal natterings but am remembering the birth my eldest daughter. Twenty-one years we have helped her build her own world. Twenty-one years of running, reading, and revising. Twenty-one years of doing that parental pushing into the ‘just-what-may-become’ of having her own dreams.

When I chance to turn my head to look over my shoulder, I do not turn to salt.

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I need only a pinch to savour my serving.

And perhaps a little pepper…  

Published by

mike2all

This is the story of what happened to me when anxiety took a grip. I lost my senses, I lost my job, and I lost me. I then turned to writing to find those things that had gone missing. How can you teach when you believe that education is a business that is failing in its primary remit of helping to create a better society? Indeed, how can you teach when you believe that you have nothing of value to pass on? The book/blog is the story of my recovery from the absolute darkness of the early days. It is an Odyssey through my life over the last twelve months and a retracing of my steps to discover how I found myself there. More than all of that, it is a re-evaluation and a rejoicing of all that which I call life. Happy reading and I hope it helps. There is madness, Everyday Madness, and not all of it comes from within.

One thought on “On Never Looking Back…”

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