Getting into trouble has become a thing with me and my new life. When burnout came a calling, I made a promise to myself that I would not live the rest of my life on somebody else’s terms. Not being wealthy puts me at a disadvantage. Existing lower down the food-chain makes me even more vulnerable. Teaching just screams out conformity.
And yet I persist.
It is difficult to continue to be somebody who will not accept the nonsense that is thrown around as so much cultural capital. There are so many little codes and expectations, minor mores, implied behaviours, that it is almost impossible to navigate any ordinary day without breaking one or all. My modus operendi is to walk calmly into any set day as a bull would enter a china shop. I don’t wish to cause damage, but why did they leave all that fragile stuff lying around in the first place?
I am told that this is what I ‘must’ do. I ‘must’ follow the rules and be like the others. If decide to do otherwise, my time will be done.
I choose the other path, less trodden, whenever one of my little rebellions is punished. That’s when I am able to get to my feet once again.