Mum…

I left a message on Mum’s phone the day after her death. I knew that the house would be empty, that the air would be still and that her slippers would be sitting, waiting for her, at the foot of her chair. There would be the still fresh memory of her moving around the kitchen,... Continue Reading →

Discarded Ending I Presume…

Long sleep the end… The bottom line was that I was trapped. I was in a place of safety, secure in the knowledge that I would never be exposed to the forces that threatened me, those forces that lived on the outside. The problem was that when places were this safe, they didn’t tend let... Continue Reading →

Bound To Be…

It is easy when you are beaten, he thought. I never knew how easy it was. And what beat you, he thought. ‘Nothing,’ he said aloud. ‘I went out too far.’ Ernest Hemingway   The Old Man and The Sea I first read this book when I was about fourteen years of age. Not a prodigious reader... Continue Reading →

Before the audition…

I think they call it the Green Room. It’s a place in television production where actors or performers prepare themselves for the show that is to come. The room in which I was asked to wait was green. I was one of many acts to present themselves before the staff on that day. There were... Continue Reading →

Flowers and The Dead…

He was waiting for me when I got home. He’s not a great talker and neither am I. That’s another gift from our creator. “New job,” I announced. “Cheating spouse.” The Leatherman nodded. We’ve been together for over twenty years now and I have never got round to giving him a name. He had one... Continue Reading →

For Mum…

I wrote this some time ago before the future became the present, and soon-to-be past. In the next few days, my own mother will pass. I always wanted to write about her and the life that she had lived. In the end, the only things I have written are in note form. When she dies... Continue Reading →

And still more of Everything…

I have to think carefully about these episodes. One thing I have realised since ‘taking up the pen’ is that it is a mighty weapon, if there is anyone left to fight.  The first few weeks of the pandemic were good. All the staff in school were smiling more than ever before and these smiles... Continue Reading →

Almost Everything…

The school stood before me, the figure at the window had disappeared and the hawk flying overhead, in circles, seemed to have found somewhere else to draw patterns around. The dead oak, that had once knocked at my bedroom window, was now out of sight and mind. I had crossed the circular lawn that greeted... Continue Reading →

Almost Everything…

I had never thought about flying. I had thought about the goshawk which could fly, and catch, and rip, and devour, but I had never thought about flying. Flying meant power and control. Flying was to be like the goshawk, looking down on a world that was defenceless to your scrutiny, and willing to give... Continue Reading →

Summer’s Irony…

I haven't done a post like this for a while. They normally arrive when shit does. Shit is the stuff we have to wade through until we get to the end of it. The last ten years have been shit-filled, but I thought that I had gotten to the end of it - I had... Continue Reading →

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