Bloody Mary and the Shower Room…

SHIT! I haven’t told you about the ghost yet.  The ghost was a shadow that followed me around. Sometimes, as I was swimming up from a deep place of sleep, I could see, through the sleepy cement eyes that are always there first thing in the morning or whenever it is that I wake, something... Continue Reading →

The Hawk…

The school was always making noises. We boys, being the ones that we were, merely added to the general volume. Most days would see us tempering our explosions, sometimes not. We were like juvenile pressure points that had very little control over themselves. The temperature, the pressure per square inch, was often pre-set before the... Continue Reading →

Staying in the womb…

The school was always making noises. We boys, being the ones that we were, merely added to the general volume. Most days would see us tempering our explosions, sometimes not. We were like juvenile pressure points that had very little control over themselves. The temperature, the pressure per square inch, was often pre-set before the... Continue Reading →

Unwanted…

Here we go again…

Read After Burnout

I had never thought about how I had arrived at Sandham beyond believing that I had been dropped off by my mother. I thought that she had dropped me off and just forgotten to pick me up. Something had been happening with the other world and I had the impression that all of what was going on was far greater than anything that was happening to me. That’s why Sandham existed, to take care of boys who had nobody else to care for them. I was an extra task on parents who were already fully engaged with battling something that was much scarier than autism.

“And why did they not come back to take you home?”

The easy answer was that they were much too busy, much too preoccupied with other matters, much too relieved that they had managed to rid themselves of the one big lump that was baring…

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Unwanted…

I had never thought about how I had arrived at Sandham beyond believing that I had been dropped off by my mother. I thought that she had dropped me off and just forgotten to pick me up. Something had been happening with the other world and I had the impression that all of what was... Continue Reading →

AN EXCERPT FROM MY BOOK

A must read.

THE PRESENT

I wake every morning with a terrible feeling in my stomach. I wake to the remembrance that I am blind. I see the light coming through the window, but nothing else. The light does not illuminate anything for me. I know that this is how it is going to be for the rest of the day – and for every day from here on in. I tussle with a sense almost of disbelief and then a painful resignation to the fact. There is nothing I can do. The day stretches out in front of me. What can I do with all those hours ahead of me in which I see only a grey mist obliterating everything for me?

As I sit up in bed I am painfully aware that no one can understand my plight. That I am alone. People have expectations of me or their own ideas…

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Lovely, Dark and Deep…

There is nothing safe about the woods. They are the deepest secrets, the most guarded truths, and our most obdurate confessions. The woods were lonely, dark and deep and they had a promise to keep.  She had asked me to save the boy, the boy who had struck her down without remorse – she had... Continue Reading →

What’s in a Name?

Not so fun pun: Bored and board. Bored:  a feeling of unhappiness because something is not interesting. That can be something like playing football every single break or lunchtime because nobody has any other ideas about what we could be playing instead. Bored (verb): when you make a hole in the ground to search for... Continue Reading →

Some Things Stick…

“Don’t worry, Matthew, it’s not the end of the world.” Little did she know that it was not only the end of it but the beginning of the End. My love of all things apocalyptical was the springboard for my evolving religiosity and political beliefs. The end was a clean sheet, a time to wipe... Continue Reading →

Freedom of Thought…

The way people are thinking these days, or should I say the way that people are choosing not to think, is an eye-opener only to the people who choose to open their eyes. To everybody else, it is an irrelevance, a wasted action, an act of treason. Thinking hurts, so why bother when there are... Continue Reading →

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